All in all a good, if short, day (I was in at midday and out by 4pm). Started off with the customary wander round – good to see Andy all dressed up running the new Victoriana. I picked up a copy of the extremely amusing War on Terror the Boardgame and a few other cheap bits and pieces.

At 2 I joined a game of  The Zorcerer of Zo. The GM had never even looked at the game before the players sat down. Fortunately this didn’t seem to matter much. The players were given 8 points to spend on up to any 6 skills they wanted to pick – anything at all. All we were told was that we were going to be playing 11 year old kids, starting off in the real world but would rapidly be transported to a magical world a-la Shrek. For skills I picked “Look Innocent”, “Bullshit”, “Run Away”, “Pickpocket” and “Knuckle Sandwich”.

The moral of the story, as the GM quickly learnt, is not to allow modern kids into a classicaly childrens fantasy setting. Some highlights:

  • Talking foxes tied up and pocketed to be taken home for animal experiments.
  • Smurfs in smurf houses squished as player thought big mushroom was like the ones in Mario.
  • Causing the evil witch with the gingerbread house to cry and run away when I stole her wand and then the rest of the party ate her house. The GM did have revenge though by making the players roll to see who ate her gingerbread toilet.
  • Dragons too difficult to master to fly so magic’d into skateboards.
  • Repeatedly being told everything is “gay”.
  • I was magic’d into a girl and the (female) GM took off half my hit points for me IRL sniffing myself and loudly exclaiming “I smell funny now!”.
  • At the exact time the made-me-into-a-girl spell wore off I was just in the middle of saying “You’re only jealous ’cause I’m the prettiest!”.
  • The best way to get into an enchanted castle is to put talking fox poo in a paper bag, set it on fire, drop it in front of the door, bang on door and run away.
  • Don’t let a player magic the palace guard to all look like him and then give him them all as extra PCs.
  • It’s safe to assume that if PCs playing children find their classmates locked up in cells bad things will happen.
  • Given the choice of going home to friends and family or staying to rule despotically over a magical kingdom..
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